tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57476519216673722582024-03-19T01:01:55.314-07:00"13 Ways" (The Movement)"13 Ways" (The Movement)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12743440555077486634noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5747651921667372258.post-31922015995318189042011-06-21T08:48:00.000-07:002011-07-01T18:22:07.640-07:00A Theory of Love…..According to 13.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJ2hisLTbNe8WyLDWpvYgYZzT-iylc4xJ64pZQ1OwFtWCzrCinPyFFVohci0HU2W2eQETXonZ3U6pWrXdQKiJi1D1cAjjIN6PeXFfi0bWwlGkleK3vbaqm3k-SCqgmeSjrzkh4yWVNl2Nw/s1600/rsz_dreamstime_4450419.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 238px; height: 180px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJ2hisLTbNe8WyLDWpvYgYZzT-iylc4xJ64pZQ1OwFtWCzrCinPyFFVohci0HU2W2eQETXonZ3U6pWrXdQKiJi1D1cAjjIN6PeXFfi0bWwlGkleK3vbaqm3k-SCqgmeSjrzkh4yWVNl2Nw/s320/rsz_dreamstime_4450419.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5620701077390415522" /></a><br />What does it feel like to be in love because somewhere along the way I forgot how it felt? Maybe it’s because love hasn’t loved me or had failed to be what I thought it was supposed to be. Maybe movies like Love Jones, Brown Sugar and the Notebook sold me a dream that I simply couldn’t afford. Or maybe it just isn’t my time to love yet. At this point I would say all of the above and then some is true. A lot of people ask the question does true love even exist in the first place. Some people may even say that true love is simply a fairytale or that it just doesn’t exist at all, but I don’t believe that nor do I think it’s complicated as we make it. I truly think we as people complicate love, however you decide to view it one thing is for certain….true love is hard to find.<br /><br />One of the first issues I have with love is that the word itself is misused. We may love to do things with a person, love something about a person, or just love doing certain things with one another like sex for instance, but that doesn’t necessarily equate to love. Love by definition is supposed to be unconditional, but we have put conditions on what love is and why we should love someone in the first place. It’s said that we should love one another as God loves us, but that is damn near impossible because even the people who love us or claim to love us hurt us the most sometimes and it’s hard to be unconditional when that happens even when we forgive them for something they have done wrong.<br /><br />I said a few years ago that we choose who we love and I couldn’t have been more wrong. If it’s a choice at all it’s an involuntary choice, but regardless of that we should know the reasons we love someone and those reasons hopefully aren’t superficial. The way of love is not a subtle argument. The door there is devastation. Love is an urgent and at times an inconvenient act. I don’t think love can be based just on time spent with a person because love can’t tell time, but I do feel that love can grow over time. I know people that have been together for short periods of time and know they love each other and I also know people that have been together for years and don’t appear or behave as if they love each other at all. I feel at the end of the day it’s about being consistent with the love we give, but it needs to be done in a fashion that isn’t a chore even though loving someone does take effort and work. It’s like doing something you love to do. You love it so much that it doesn’t feel like work and I think love should be treated in that same fashion. <br /><br />The harsh truth is that finding true love is difficult and a lot of times the people that may treat us the best or show us the most concern may not be the people we’re interested in. Also unfortunately the people we may want the most may not be the best for us or some reason you just can’t get things to flow right. However you look view it, it’s a risk. I’ve grown to the point now that I don’t have an interest in passing time with anyone while hoping along the way some real feelings might surface. I just don’t want to deal with a woman just to keep the other side of my bed warm or just to keep me company. I’ve done that before and I’ve done it with no regrets, but I’m at the point and at the age now that I’ve found out that’s not good enough for me anymore. <br /><br />Don’t get me wrong because we have to be willing to take a few risks with our heart and put our feelings on the line because love is not only involuntary, but unexpected act as well. We have to be tactful with that though meaning sometime stepping way outside of your box may not be a good idea. I think if you’re an adult you pretty much know what you like and what you don’t like. A lot of times we go into situations thinking we can change someone, but people seldom change for a person even know they may love them, they usually change because it’s a conscious choice they made for themselves. <br /><br />The funny thing is regardless of our relationship status were going to complain about something. People in relationships complain about stuff, married people complain about stuff and single people complain about being single if there not happy being single. At some point single people will get tired of being single too! <br />I have days that I ask God who am I supposed to be with. Where is she? Who is she? Have I met here already and all of those crazy questions that you may even ask yourself sometimes if you’re single. I’m sure whenever it happens I won’t be getting a heads up from God about it! Whenever it happens I just want to be ready for it. I feel like I already love the person I’m supposed to be with not because I know her or may have been with her, but simply because of the expectation of her…..whoever she may be. The only question I would be dying to ask her when she comes into my life is….. “What took you so long?” <br /><br />My theory is we have to have the patience for love to find us. It usually doesn’t happen when were looking for someone. It usually sneaks up on us like a thief in the night. I don’t think there’s a man or woman in this world that doesn’t want someone to steal their heart. All we want is for someone to value our heart and everything else that goes along with it. We want someone that is willing to love the good, the bad and the in between of us no matter what while most of all understanding when that person has showed up in our lives and we make the choice for them to be a part of our lives forever…..<br /><br />God Bless, <br /><br />“13 Ways” (The Movement) <br />"13 Ways" (The Movement)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12743440555077486634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5747651921667372258.post-79514577737348822792011-05-21T00:17:00.000-07:002011-05-22T15:19:04.913-07:00Faith and it's struggles<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqkhcA4XGoznIctxP_-s3B89xh7qjXerZlWnF5DVxNt3NKNgPswssZ7EL6_E7AWvawJLuTK_cjhMnWFdmwtEk0SVDjGh8IpZ_1QrlCfqSJRJcdgVPyTwhNj7QORVik3fiUBFDVxLr3YM_p/s1600/7466038%255B1%255D.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 239px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqkhcA4XGoznIctxP_-s3B89xh7qjXerZlWnF5DVxNt3NKNgPswssZ7EL6_E7AWvawJLuTK_cjhMnWFdmwtEk0SVDjGh8IpZ_1QrlCfqSJRJcdgVPyTwhNj7QORVik3fiUBFDVxLr3YM_p/s320/7466038%255B1%255D.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5609066062696434018" /></a><br /><br /><br />If you Google the word faith the response you may find might be as follows…..Faith is the confident belief or trust or trustworthiness of a person, concept, or a thing that is not based on proof. To read the definition the meaning seems pretty clear-cut, but in reality the words defining it hardly do the word justice or define it clearly. Despite all of that we depend on faith in some shape, form or fashion every single day whether we realize it or not.<br /><br />I’m a Christian and I’ve been one since the day my mother had me. As I’ve grown older I’ve done my best to understand Christian faith. By no means am I an expert and I very seldom quote The Bible even though I read it a reasonable amount. I go to church, but not every Sunday. I only listen to inspirational music usually when I’m in church and sometimes at home when I need to hear words to lift my spirits. I have a clear understanding that people called to ministry are messengers and share the same flesh as myself. In other words they are not perfect and even on my best day that all my dreams, wishes and aspirations may come true neither am I.<br /><br /> May 21, 2011 is predicted to be a “Rapture” according to Christian radio host Harold Camping. A “rapture” meaning the taking into heaven of God’s people with the end of the world as we know it whether we love it or not will actually come to an end on October 21, 2011. Camping has even gone so far to say that the “rapture” will occur at 6 p.m. local time. It didn’t say which time zone in my research. The people supporting Camping’s claim estimates that about 200 million people will experience this act. Camping has gone even further to say that he found this prediction in The Bible. If all of this sounds farfetched to you then guess what, a lot of other people feel the same way you do including myself!<br /><br /> <br /><br />I’ve never claimed to be the best Christian in the world and despite popular opinion I don’t try to be perfect. As a matter of fact I don’t think perfection exists at all. Everything in this world is flawed in some way. Whether it’s inside, outside, or deep within everything in this world has imperfections. Let’s be honest people…..faith doesn’t make any sense whatsoever, but it’s essential to our lives as much as the air we breathe. We may understand the chemical elements of oxygen, but that doesn’t mean we understand exactly how it got here. We just know that is if you’re a believer in God that God created it. I think faith falls under that same category. We have faith in Him and His son Jesus Christ because of what we have read in The Bible, because of what we have heard in church or because someone we know has given a testimony of some sort telling the gospel of His greatness and if you’re a Christian chances are you believe it even if you have not to your knowledge experienced it yourself.<br /><br />I’ll be honest with you all because I struggle with my faith. I think a lot of people do, but I’ll admit it. There have been times in my life that I just simply don’t understand why and trust me I know the saying, “Why not me?, but let’s just say that I don’t have an answer most times. I don’t understand why I lost my mother to cancer in 2007 and I don’t understand why 5 months into this year I have experienced some of the most unhappy times in my life. I have faith that it’s for a better purpose. I pray that the things that I’ve experienced in the last 4 years is preparing me for something much greater than I could ever imagine and trust me when tell you I have a pretty good imagination.<br /><br />The cynical part of me asks the question daily, “Why am I here?” I wish I could tell you all exactly why I was born, what I’m here for, and most of all what am I suppose to leave the world when God does call me home and let me say again that I don’t think it’s later today.<br /><br />We all have dreams, aspirations, and plans of some sort. Lord knows I just want mine to workout. Like many of you there are so many things that I haven’t done yet. I don’t say that to say that I haven’t done anything, but I say that to say I feel I’m far from done because there are so many things I want to do and accomplish still.<br /><br />We live in a world that is unfair and doesn’t owe us anything, though we give it all we have not only to survive, but to succeed in it. That statement alone is why we hold on to our faith so tightly. Not only do we need to have faith in God, but faith in ourselves. We also have to be weary of the kind of faith we put in people, because in some way people will always let us down. I certainly won’t put my faith in some false profit who wants attention by saying the world is going to end on a certain date! All we can do sometimes is pray, even when it seems that God doesn’t hear us because we have faith that he will hear us and help us. So I say all of this to say despite what we have heard I’ll see you all tomorrow because I have faith that I will.<br /><br /> <br /><br />God Bless,<br /><br />“13 Ways” (The Movement)<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />This blog copyrighted under The Movement Media Inc. 2011"13 Ways" (The Movement)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12743440555077486634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5747651921667372258.post-35762913012847581252011-03-16T07:22:00.000-07:002011-05-22T15:19:55.270-07:00The Light at the end of the Tunnel<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ2GWT_KXKVJHmPLVz299g9M5THOWeCoB9Aop1iicvtvk3T1a9lgAO40xGDkVUXre6AY6xdsRbsrZS1x5HzBbQtRZMXUx8NwZQuEAAFIkMSG9FN2SNuGV7oRaWaBQk1VUt2Crc__H_SG6Y/s1600/6363944%255B2%255D.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 314px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ2GWT_KXKVJHmPLVz299g9M5THOWeCoB9Aop1iicvtvk3T1a9lgAO40xGDkVUXre6AY6xdsRbsrZS1x5HzBbQtRZMXUx8NwZQuEAAFIkMSG9FN2SNuGV7oRaWaBQk1VUt2Crc__H_SG6Y/s320/6363944%255B2%255D.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5584683656564367362" /></a><br /> <br /><br />I liken the hard times we experience in life at times to a tunnel. An area filled with darkness and we have no idea where that tunnel is leading us to or when it’s going to end to when we see the light at the end of it. It’s long, it’s dark, and it maybe cold or even hot, but whatever the temperature is best believe it’s uncomfortable. Where this tunnel is located can’t be found on any GPS. Whether you have seen my statuses on my Facebook fan page, my personal page, or my Twitter account you have probably heard me express my distain for 2011 thus far. To say that things have started off slow for me so far this year is an understatement and as far as my own personal tunnel, well I have no idea how close I am to the end of it just yet, but let’s say I hope it’s over soon.<br /><br />To be totally honest with all of you reading I’ve been pretty depressed for an abundance of reasons. Anything that you can think of that could go wrong this year pretty much has. I feel like I’m being punished for something, but I have no idea in the world what it is. Whatever it is I don’t feel it was so bad to run into the misfortune that I’ve had to endure so far this year. There have been times I’ve just screamed. I screamed so hard and so loud that I felt like I almost strained my vocal cords beyond repair. I screamed so hard last week that my throat was sore and it hurt to talk for about two days. When you go through something bad it makes you understand for anyone that believes in God just now little control we have over our lives. <br /><br />As I’m going through my battles I’ve seen people I know pass away, some of my favorite celebrities die and one of my friends just recently loss his two year old daughter suddenly. Add in natural disasters like the earthquake in Japan that was a ridiculous 8.9 on the Richter scale that literally and figuratively shook that country along with Tsunami warnings that could lead right up to the door steps of the United States in Hawaii. That alone could make you wonder what is going on in the world and why things are happening the way they are. <br /><br />If you’re anything like me your harder on yourself than anyone could ever be. It may come to a surprise to anyone reading this, but I give myself very little credit for anything I’ve managed to accomplish in my life and I give myself ALL of the blame for anything I’ve failed at. At best I’m a humble control freak if there is such a thing. Maybe some of you feel the same way I do or God help you even worst. <br />I’ll be honest with you all, when my mother died I felt like I didn’t deserve another sad day in my entire life because I had lost someone so near and dear to me. The pain and hurt I experienced during that time I felt was enough for a lifetime. So when life crossed this bridge and decided to make me go through this tunnel I was appalled and most of all angry. Some of you may have seen when I was about to shut down my fan page. I’ve been blogging for 4 years and I was ready to stop writing all together. I felt like I didn’t have anything inspiring to say because my heart and soul was at such a cynical place. All who commented on that status gave me the strength to reconsider and to just take a break.<br /><br />As the saying goes, “Life isn’t fair”. I’ve seen so many good people already literally go through udder hell this year in some shape, form or fashion it makes you wonder and ask yourself, “Why I’m I even trying to be a good person? Especially, when life is literally giving you an ass whipping you know for certain you don’t deserve even on your worst day! Even when we try our absolute best sometimes life will tell us that even though you gave it your all it just wasn’t good enough.<br />When terrible things happen to us it tests our faith to levels we feel that are unheard of. Many people have told me we have to go through the bad times to appreciate the good. My rebuttal to that statement was I always appreciate the good times regardless! I’m many things, but ungrateful isn’t one of them! Don’t get me wrong though, I understand the concept.<br /><br />Every day I tell myself that it’s my turn to shine again. I pray to God and I ask Him, “What is all this leading to?” Because like a tunnel I have idea where this journey is leading me to. Is it leading me to great fortune? Is it leading me to true love? Is it leading me to both of those things and a few others that I can’t even imagine? Then the cynical part of me asks is it leading me to misfortune, loneliness, or some terrible things I couldn’t imagine. <br /><br />Either way what we all have to understand about life is that it’s a journey with many unknown destinations. At times it’s a heavy weight boxing match, it’s a war of some sort, and the hardest thing to do is fight or knowing when to sit back and ask God to take the wheel. We live in a world that is unfair and that doesn’t owe us anything though we give it all we have not only to survive, but to succeed.<br /><br />Whenever my journey through this dark tunnel is over I want my mind to be blown! Not blown because something bad happened, but because something so great, something so wonderful happened that I lose my cool and literally lose my mind. Some things in life don’t make sense and faith certainly doesn’t make sense either, but it’s necessary and essential like air in order for us to breathe! <br /><br />When this journey is over best believe I’ll be appreciative to see the end of the tunnel and when I come out and see that light I’m going to breathe deep and be grateful for the journey, but most of all the growth and the rewards to come.<br /><br /><br />God Bless, <br /><br />“13 Ways” (The Movement) <br /><br /><br />P.S. For anyone going through something…..you are not alone. <br /><br /><strong></strong><em></em><br /><br /><br />This blog is copyrighted under The Movement Media Inc. 2011"13 Ways" (The Movement)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12743440555077486634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5747651921667372258.post-48471073848821520322011-02-03T03:58:00.000-08:002011-05-22T15:22:15.630-07:00No N-Bombs Please and Thank You-What needs to be said.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQwyRV2LickibGSXuwfE2h3vHWY3neB8M3w_0OzLlaCAukrjXT0v4x4kZmgrsdzIieFRLm1ZbfuEasFk88EOetFjYlrrd5hZSM1PvS4buhBaWXkskOuxFyF0vPBdC0ocGcZ_p2oTDnKDej/s1600/19245345.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQwyRV2LickibGSXuwfE2h3vHWY3neB8M3w_0OzLlaCAukrjXT0v4x4kZmgrsdzIieFRLm1ZbfuEasFk88EOetFjYlrrd5hZSM1PvS4buhBaWXkskOuxFyF0vPBdC0ocGcZ_p2oTDnKDej/s320/19245345.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5569432920921439266" /></a><br /><br />As I’ve gotten older and more informed I very seldom use the word “nigger” almost to the point I don’t use it at all. I’m only typing it now because it’s relevant to this blog. It’s a word that I used a lot growing up, but that was me being ignorant thanks to hearing it in music and even at times in my own home growing up. The more I learned and the more I matured I learned that using such a word to describe “my” people was unnecessary. In most black neighborhoods you can hear it. If you turn on Jay-Z, or any other rapper you will hear that word in maybe more than you care to. If you watch a comedian like Katt Williams or Chris Rock you can guarantee that you will hear that word multiple times during their routine. Oprah said we shouldn’t use it anymore, but I don’t use it anymore because of what she said, but because of a choice I made 7 or 8 years ago. <br /><br />Don’t get me wrong people because I love Hip-Hop music and I love to hear a lot of black comedians but Lord knows I wish that the N-Bomb wasn’t used at all.. It’s not all their fault though because it all starts at home. For some people they grew up with that word as a term of endearment as I also did. It can describe someone that was close to you. It can describe someone that means the world to you. It can describe someone that was like a brother or a sister that isn’t your blood relative, but as far as you were concerned if you said, “That’s my nigga!” well people around you knew exactly what you meant by that even though there are so many other words that could be used in the English language to get that very same point across. <br />It’s gotten to the point where some African Americans use it so much that everyone else does too and that to me is unacceptable. I stopped saying it because of the how it was used against African Americans during slavery and the Civil Rights Movement. The word itself came from Spanish and Portuguese known as negro and it is also derived from the Latin adjective Niger both meaning the color black to describe African Americans because of our skin tone. The British once felt that the word was acceptable to describe black people, but they don’t anymore. It’s seen as a negative word in Dutch, French, Hungarian, Russian and Yiddish also.<br /><br />It makes me wonder why some of us use the N-Word. Dr. Cornell West said ““There’s a certain rhythmic seduction to the word. If you speak in a sentence, and you have to say cat, companion, or friend, as opposed to nigger, then the rhythmic presentation is off. That rhythmic language is a form of historical memory for black people.” I was amazed to find out that after Richard Pryor visited Africa that he decided to stop using the word even though he would find himself allowing the word to slip in his routines sometime, but his visit to Africa changed his perception of the word. U.S. Magazines won’t print the word verbatim. They replace it censored or use the N-Word in the place of it. Social activist Dick Gregory felt that not using the word in print was intellectually dishonest, because using the euphemism “the N-word” instead of “nigger” robs younger generations of Americans of the full history of Black people in America.<br /><br />I agree with Dr. West because I admit there is a certain rhythmic seduction to the word, but that doesn’t mean we should continue to use it. Also I agree that the word doesn’t have to be used in print either. I think with all the technology and resources we have today that anyone of us with a computer and purpose can research the full history of Black people in America if they care to find out. <br /><br />I don’t think nothing positive came out of using the word. It has been used as a derogatory term more than a positive term. In today’s society a lot of people try to turn what is seen as a negative word into a positive word. For example most women didn’t like being called a “bitch”, but in today’s society some women have made it a point to empower that word, which is something I don’t agree with also because a lot of people have used that word for years as a negative way to describe women. Today thanks to popular culture the word “bitch” is heard more and more, but at the end of the day it’s still a negative word no matter how you dress it up and the same goes for the word “nigger.” I didn’t stop using the N- Word because I reached a certain point in my life financially or career wise or because I think I’m better than anyone, but I did stop using it because of how degrading it was to all African Americans no matter if it was before me or after me.<br /><br />The English language is beautiful and eclectic at the same time which means there are so many other words that can be used to describe African Americans in an endearing fashion. It may not have the “rhythmic seduction” that dropping the N-Bomb does, but using words in place of that is something that I happily accept. It doesn’t matter if Jay-Z, Michael Richards from Seinfeld, or Mark Fuhrman from the O.J. trial uses it because it’s still a negative word. I’d rather be your brother, your homey, your boy, your man, your buddy, or how about just your friend. African Americans are beautiful people from all walks of life and I refuse to tarnish that beauty with such an ugly word anymore…..<br /><br />God Bless,<br /><br />“13 Ways” (The Movement) <br /><br /><br /><strong></strong><br /><br />This blog is copyrighted under The Movement Media Inc. 2011"13 Ways" (The Movement)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12743440555077486634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5747651921667372258.post-10361144801036869362011-02-03T01:20:00.000-08:002011-05-22T15:20:55.865-07:00A Brotha’s Testimony-What Needs to be Said<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaHIYCzcZMfEDNyLjhRmWQMrZJJNLpbCBj7B8qrKmLbPEak94Aje2rBg6ShRvS5HbovU6S_xv18fiYrjQw9OVSBQmgw3ZDzKAnKYpPkAjA0iArh3kWzypI2uMBP7rHlEvAoY_rc4To0qBE/s1600/6363988%255B1%255D.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 239px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaHIYCzcZMfEDNyLjhRmWQMrZJJNLpbCBj7B8qrKmLbPEak94Aje2rBg6ShRvS5HbovU6S_xv18fiYrjQw9OVSBQmgw3ZDzKAnKYpPkAjA0iArh3kWzypI2uMBP7rHlEvAoY_rc4To0qBE/s320/6363988%255B1%255D.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5569392082529829986" /></a><br />I was born an African American male or Afro American male or you can simply say I’m a black male for short. From the time my mother birthed me 32 years ago until this present day that’s what I’ll always be and I’m proud of that! I’ll be the first to say that whatever our race is shouldn’t define us, but our character, our interactions with people, and our actions should define us. I always felt that our nationality or a race shouldn’t be a factor, but even in today’s society that has grown to be more accepting of all people it still is. <br /><br />Does anyone remember when you realized what your nationality was? Do you remember when you understood what race you were? To be honest I don’t really remember. I attended a predominantly black elementary school so there really weren’t many differences between the kids I went to school with and myself. I was friends with one of the white kids at my school. His name was Eric and he was my kindergarten teacher’s nephew which is why he ended up going to Maywood Elementary School in East Hammond in the first place. We were cool and the fact that we were different didn’t matter. As we are children I think we just all want to play and get along with each other. One thing about being a little kid is that no one really judged one another, we just had fun! There are times I wonder what happened to Eric, but most of all I wonder what happened to that naïve, but easy going attitude we all had when we were children when it came to people being different. <br /><br />I don’t say that to say things in 2011 are bad or terrible because they aren’t. As I move about my fan page I have people that support me of all colors, races, and religions on it. The place where I work is probably the most diverse place I will ever work at, and I graduated from a high school that was very diverse, but all of those places are in some sort of way are what I wish things were like all over the country, but I also understand that in some cases they are the exception to what some of us may have grew up around. <br /><br /> Fall 1997, I was a freshman in college at Ball State University in Muncie, Indiana. I admit when I started college that I kind of expected more diversity, but as I went through my classes I found it wasn’t uncommon for me to be the only African American in my classes. Even if there was an African American female in there with me I was the only black male in most of my classes. I think that’s when I realized how small the African American population was. Statistics say that there are more black men in prison then in college. Given the fact that African Americans only represent 12 percent of the U.S population I find that startling. <br /><br />Statistics say that 75 percent of African American children grow up without a father in the home, which means that’s a lot of black women that end up being strong not only because they probably are, but because they have to be due to their circumstances. These women end up playing mother and father. My mother did it and some of my friends mothers as well. I didn’t meet my father until I was 20 years old. I’m not informing you of this statistic to say put “us” down, but to say that Lord knows I wish that would change. <br /><br />If someone was to ask me what it’s like to be an African American male in today’s society I would say it’s difficult, but I know a lot of good men before me had it worst than I ever will! If I was to single out the hardest thing I would say the stereotypes that are put not only on African American males, but African Americans period. “We” are all not the same. Let’s be clear because all races and cultures have stereotypes, but whatever they are aren’t always true. It’s safe to say that races and cultures do differ, but that’s not a bad thing, it’s what makes them interesting. <br /><br />If I was to ask anything of anyone that has ever met me I would say judge me on me, not what race I am even though my brown skin is obvious. I’m proud of my culture and the history behind it! Lord knows what a lot of brave people did before us to get to this point. Now that we’re here let’s make the most it. Our journey is really just beginning not only as African Americans, but a country as a whole. We can’t leave our pride in the past because I feel nowadays that it’s lacking and to be quite honest with you we all need it more than ever. We are still in a state of progression because it certainly didn’t stop in the 60’s and 70’s! In 2011 there still growth to be made not only for African Americans, but everybody else too….<br /><br />God Bless,<br />“13 Ways” (The Movement) <br /><br /><strong></strong><strong></strong><br /><br /><br />This blog is copyrighted under The Movement Media Inc. 2011"13 Ways" (The Movement)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12743440555077486634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5747651921667372258.post-6495132511424836812011-02-01T07:34:00.000-08:002011-05-22T15:23:22.885-07:00Black History is American History-What Needs to be Said<em><strong>One of the first things people say when the subject of Black History Month comes is “Why did we get the shortest month of the year?” I always laugh when I hear someone say that because it essence it seems that way, but that’s not why Black History Month is in February at all. It is in February because of two men who greatly influenced African Americans have birthdays in February, that being Fredrick Douglass and Abraham Lincoln. <br /><br />Carter G. Woodson, an African American Historian actually started what we know as Black History Month as Negro History Week in 1926 during the second week in February because Douglass and Lincoln’s birthday’s coincide that week. Woodson felt that African Americans contributions were overlooked and ignored in history so he pushed for African Americans to have a week to reflect on our contributions to American History. Since 1976 Black History Month is celebrated the entire month of February in the United States and Canada while the United Kingdom celebrates it in October. <br />The question I pose to myself sometimes is “Have we come to the point where Black History should just be considered American History?” I pose this question as some other people do because Black History in essence is American History. A lot of African Americans had a strong hand in helping build this country. They came in the form of inventors, educators, members of the armed forces, and many other areas that all are a part of American History. <br /><br />Even though we pay special attention to African Americans during the month of February I think that us studying that history shouldn’t just be celebrated for just one month, but the other 11 months as well just as the rest of American History is recognized in the classrooms and beyond. I think everyone knows about the Civil Rights Movement and what Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. contributed, but it was so many more African Americans that contributed to this country after him and I say that with the upmost respect to Dr. King. <br /><br />When I was in high school I didn’t hear about Mark Dean and Dennis Moeller who developed high performance software for IBM and compatible PC’s that allowed computer components to communicate with each other more efficiently. There system was patents were marketed in the IBM and PC/AT computers in 1984.<br />I didn’t hear about Lonnie Johnson who invented what we know as the “Super Soaker” in 1988. It was originally named the “Power Drencher” and was patented as the Super Soaker in 1991. If you think back how many of us actually had a “Super Soaker it makes you think a little!” I know I had a few.<br /><br />Let me go deeper though. Dr. Patricia Bath invented the Cataract Laserphaco Probe which is the machine that removes cataracts by laser. She was able to restore people who had been legally blind for 30 years with eyesight. The machine was patented in 1988 and she also holds that same patent in Japan, Canada, and Europe. <br /><br />I mentioned these 4 people because I feel like we all can relate to these inventions today and there are so many others before them that I don’t even have time to name! People may read this and say that I feel that Black History Month isn’t necessary, but that’s not what I mean at all. I just simply wish that the discoveries of African Americans are recognized just like everyone else’s in America! <br /><br />People may not like this saying, but it essence it’s true. “We came so far, yet we have so far to go.” I’m proud of the accomplishments of African Americans big and small! The biggest by far is that we have an African American President in my opinion. I remember Tupac and a lyric in his song “Changes.” “And Although it seems heaven sent, we ain’t ready to see a black president.” Well once what people never thought may happen or wouldn’t happen this soon happened two years ago. <br /><br />I wouldn’t say I have a dream, but I have a hope. I have a hope that one day it won’t matter what race made what contribution. Hopefully the only thing that will matter is the contribution itself because this eclectic place called the United States of America is made up of so many wonderful people and cultures. Everybody deserves some love and appreciation, but at the end of the day we all play for the same team……<br /><br />God Bless, <br />“13 Ways” ( The Movement) </strong></em><br /><br />This blog is copyrighted under The Movement Media Inc. 2011"13 Ways" (The Movement)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12743440555077486634noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5747651921667372258.post-85536609208598363992011-01-17T02:31:00.000-08:002011-01-17T02:52:30.903-08:00Diary of Friends<em><strong>During my lifetime I’ve had a lot of people come in and out of my life. Whether it’s from my hometown, my workplace, or elsewhere I’ve realized I know a lot of people. Thanks to social networking I now know some people who I’ve never even met face to face apparently. It’s all good though because at some point in this small world we all will cross paths at some point. <br /><br />I may have over 1200 friends on Facebook, but in real life my circle of friends is very small. I’m an only child, but I always had a lot of friends and as you get older that number becomes smaller and smaller. People go different directions in their lives and you have to choose which direction you want to go in and that direction may not be the same direction as someone close to you. <br /><br />As an adult the one thing I’ve noticed is and what I’m thankful for all my real friends! A lot of guys that I grew up with are still some of my closest friends. My two closest friends don’t even live in Northwest Indiana anymore, but despite the distance we remain friends. We still trust one another and would be there if we needed one another. I’ve had my share of female friends too and when I mean friends I really mean friends! I’m thankful for every one of them. At times I’ve crossed that platonic line only to regret it later. I vowed I would never cross that line again and I haven’t since. Others have simply fell to the way side. Some women are just fickle, which could end up being messy, which could lead to drama, which could lead to things escalating and that’s not healthy. <br /><br />As we move about through this crazy world we have to be careful who we allow into our world. Lord knows if I treated people the way they have treated me over the years I would be hated more than liked. I don’t say that to say I’m an angel, because I’m not! Personally when I do go off on someone it probably hurts more because I don’t do it very much, which probably means if I said something hurtful, then,…. well,…. chances are I meant what I said! Being a nice person doesn’t mean its open season to get rolled over on. It means you defending yourself like any other person would when it’s needed, even if it’s not as frequent as others. <br />As 2011 begins to settle in all of us are making changes and some people from last year or past years didn’t make it here with you. Some of those reasons were simply not in our control while other relationships, friendships, etc, have simply run their course. Like a team that got eliminated from the playoffs, well their season is over. Sometime people are just around for a season to help you grow a little more. <br /><br />Coming in to 2011 I didn’t make a list of formal resolutions, but I’ve made some promises to myself that I have every intention on keeping them. I invite doubters to take a front row seat to watch things unfold. <br /><br />As you live your lives people will always have an opinion of who they think you are. No matter what you do whether it’s positive or negative people will always have something to say about you. The sad part is how people talk about you when you’re trying to do something positive! That in itself amazes me! A friend of mine posted up a status the other day and it said “Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.” I’d like to add to that by asking “Which one are you?” I’d rather discuss ideas and a few events along the way. I’ll save the small minded discussions for small minded people! <br /><br />In my life I had extreme highs and extreme lows and some bulls**t in between and somehow I’m still here. That in itself is something to be grateful for. In this life know who your friends are. When people tell you exactly who they are, you should listen closely. Trust your instincts. Trust few and treat people like you would want to be treated. Don’t criticize people if you can’t deal with being criticized yourself. Learn to communicate to people and don’t expect anyone to assume anything. Last, but not least know that the high road is much smoother to take in life’s situations, but it’s harder to find sometimes. We all have our time to shine and when it’s your time to shine on the people that were negative towards you or tried to bring you down, blind those people with your light not to show off, but to say them in your own special way…..nice try and thanks….. <br /><br />God Bless,<br /><br />“13 Ways” (The Movement) </strong></em><br /><br /><br />Copyrighted under The Movement Media Inc. 2011"13 Ways" (The Movement)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12743440555077486634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5747651921667372258.post-36272450054925730472011-01-15T03:24:00.000-08:002011-01-15T03:44:25.154-08:00Love and it’s Complications in all Honesty…<em><strong>As we embark on another year on God’s green Earth everyone is making their promises, their declarations, their resolutions, or whatever you want call the changes you plan on making in your life for 2011. I’m sure on someone’s list of changes that a relationship is somewhere on the list and if it’s not it’s on your mind because I feel at the end of the day that everybody wants somebody whether they want to admit it or not.<br /><br />Relationships are always a hot topic. We could all talk about it for hours on end. I’m sure if we were to get a group of men and women together and put them in room to talk about relationships they could talk about the trials and tribulations they have experienced. It would be like a church for the broken hearted and everybody would have a testimony to give, but instead of catching the holy ghost people would reflect more on how those relationships hurt them instead of talking about what they have learned from them while men and women pointed the finger at each other saying that one sex doesn’t make sense compared to the other. I think to a degree that’s all something we all have done at one time or another. Some have done it enough to say without a stutter that they won’t ever find the right mate, when really they’re current relationship state is simply temporary. I guess the counter question people would ask would be “How long is temporary and when in the hell will temporary be over?” I guess it will be over when we have cleared enough space in hearts for the right person to come along. <br /><br />It’s easy to carry over our bulls**t from another relationship or situation into another one because at some point we all get lonely, but sometimes being lonely is necessary. That doesn’t mean it’s supposed to be easy, but that time could be needed so we can press the preverbal reset buttons on our hearts. Moving forward too soon could be a terrible mistake. I’ve made that mistake once myself. I heard from someone from my past once that I should follow my own advice, since I considered myself a relationship blogger. I just kind of laughed to myself because first of all I’m not a relationship blogger, I’m simply a writer and second I do listen to my own advice otherwise I would have been a hell of a lot worst then I was in that situation. I’m sure she would agree that I wasn’t half as bad as the men that came before me.<br /><br />I will say that “lonely” time is not to add s**t to what we want in a mate. I think every single person has some kind of requirement list and just because one situation doesn’t work out doesn’t mean it’s time to add to the list or take requirements out of it, but to carefully reevaluate it! I think sometime people add to these lists to make up for their own insecurities. All I can say to my fellow single people out there is don’t ask anything of anyone that you don’t have or do for yourself. In other words people….Don’t be a nickel looking for a dime! Some people are old rusted nickels looking for shiny new dimes. I’m just saying. Some people have requests so crazy that the only person that fits the bill is Jesus! LOL! In other words nobody is perfect and that includes you too! I don’t think perfection exists, but we should strive to be the best people we can be. That means you too!<br /><br />I think everyone wants to be loved, but some us are afraid to love again. I’ve been in love before of course, but I’ll be honest with you when I say I don’t necessarily remember what it totally feels like anymore. I’ve always compared love to a drug. Once you have had it, you want it again and again, but I went to rehab I guess. Love is the strongest and the most sensitive emotion. I feel that love exists in our hearts right between what’s the best about us and where all our insecurities reside. It’s our most vulnerable emotion we have and when we feel that emotion at times we deny it, we hide it, and we shut it down because it can put us in such a vulnerable state. In essence it’s one of life’s emotions that we have very little control over, when it’s real. There’s a big difference between what you may do for a person or what you may due for the man or woman that you love. We have to remember that love is not something that is just given and that it’s a whole lot more than just another four letter word. <br /><br />Just because some of us may want this emotion doesn’t mean we should just rush into things. I know there’s a place in everybody’s heart that wants to be loved, cared for, appreciated, and adored among other things, but some people won’t admit it, especially if they have really been hurt or was simply in a relationship they should have been involved in the first place. You could deal with a person for a long period of time and never have their heart because their pride simply won’t let them give it to anyone, or they honestly don’t have the courage to give their heart anymore because they may have gave it to the wrong person and when the right person comes along they punk out because of past experiences missing out on what Alicia Keys and Drake call……The “Un-thinkable.” <br /><br />Then some of us are “funny acting” about relationships all together. Men and women can have power struggles in a relationship because no one trusts one another to be vulnerable with the issues that really matter in their lives, that’s even if they even consider themselves in a relationship to begin with. In my opinion I’ve always felt that women use the word “friend” to loosely, but that’s another blog and another time. <br /><br />I think what a lot of single people look at are the benefits of being with someone and not the work that goes in with being with someone. I guess the thing that can make a relationship complicated is that all the work put in shouldn’t feel like work! When your heart is fully vested it doesn’t feel so much like work. When your heart isn’t fully vested even the basic things that it takes to maintain a relationship like daily communication becomes a chore. <br /><br />The question and the fear by most people is fully investing themselves into a relationship in the first place because NO one wants to get hurt. I’ve always felt that it’s easy to allow a man or woman to touch and do with our bodies any kind of way intimately, but to touch a woman’s and even a man’s heart is much harder because our hearts can be so fragile when it comes to serious emotions. There’s no real way to protect ourselves from it, but to be careful and to try to know exactly who were dealing with and even then we can still get hurt. It’s a gamble either way. <br /><br />At 32 years old I have no idea where my love life is going, so I just simply play it by ear. This may sound a bit cynical, but love isn’t at the top of my list. At the same time that doesn’t mean that I’m afraid of love. I just feel like when it’s the right woman and the right time I’ll know. Until then well….I guess I’ll just write about it from time to time along the way…..<br /><br />God Bless, <br />“13 Ways” (The Movement) </strong></em><br /><br />This blog is copyrighted by The Movement Media Inc. 2011"13 Ways" (The Movement)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12743440555077486634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5747651921667372258.post-5623940454565928162010-10-31T17:56:00.000-07:002010-10-31T18:21:12.598-07:00My view and maybe yours too.....A friend of mine’s Facebook status once said “"If more males would stand up and be men, then more females would sit down and be ladies". (I’m just saying) “I’m glad I can finally sit down!!” I was especially proud of what she said because it makes good sense to me and I was even more proud of my friend who is engaged to her that has given her that sense of security. <br /><br />In my opinion her statement speaks volumes because as the years have passed gender roles between men and women have changed not because some women asked those roles to change, but because they didn’t have a choice due to circumstance. If you listen around to conversations in this country you may hear that chivalry is dead and buried somewhere. That’s funny because I never knew chivalry had died. If that’s even remotely true then I’m sure that men killed it, but trust me when I tell you women handed us the knife. Unlike Orenthal James Simpson the gloves fit and we can’t acquit! Honestly, I don’t think chivalry is dead, just seldom used in today’s society. <br /><br />So you may be saying while you’re reading this, “Jon, tell us something we don’t know.” Ok, fine I will. My theory is that the traditional fathers in America are becoming missing in action. I totally get and I applaud women for becoming independent over the years, but I think some men have looked at that as an excuse not to be responsible men and not to lead the household’s of America anymore, that is if there even in the damn household to begin with. I applaud the men out there that pay child support and break their necks to spend time with their children if there no longer with the mother of those children, but on the other hand I see boys that are not developing into men because they don’t have a man around to show them how exactly how to be a man in the first place. As a result we have a lot of “grown ass boys” walking around today. Some men would rather mooch off of a woman than go out and get his own stuff. There doing exactly what they did at their mother’s house except now their girlfriend is full-filling that motherly role. It’s not just the an independence issue, but it’s an issue with the way women are treated nowadays. As a result of fathers not being in the household we have these “grown ass boys” just approaching women any kind of way. They say anything that comes to mind or say something that they heard on TV or in music. The sad part is the women that are falling for these lame approaches which brings me to how the lack of having a father around is hurting women as well. <br /><br />I truly believe that a man sets the bar for the kind of man his daughter will date. I can sit back and examine sometime and it’s kind of obvious nowadays. I can usually tell by talking to a woman for 5 minutes if they had a father in their lives. I can tell what kind of father they had and exactly how important he was in that woman’s life. I feel like a woman doesn’t know what a man really is truly supposed to be unless they grew up seeing one. It could be their father, a step-father grandfather or even an uncle, but some man needs to set the standard. The same applies to men and it’s terribly important for both sexes to see such an example. <br /><br />From my experience the woman that seems to go for the worst guys are the ones that didn’t have a positive example of a man around. They tend to lean more towards the thugs or guys simply acting hard instead of the decent men. Not all, but some…..<br />I myself come from a single parent home and I’ll be the first to say that growing up without a father was not easy, but I had a very strong and grounded mother that made it look easy. I didn’t realize the impact her raising me really had on me until she passed almost 3 years ago. My mother was raised in a two parent home though which in turn gave me a lot of traditional values or old school values if you will. Also I was lucky enough to see what a true man was through family and men I may have looked up to as I was growing up. The trouble now is the children of today’s parents were raised by single parents themselves which means in some cases men and woman may not be equipped to give their child especially their sons, the upbringing they really need in order to understand what being a man is!<br /><br />I think in some cases this situations like these has made some young men nowadays lazy! If you think about how many men you know that are out here having baby’s at random, not focused on trying to be a productive citizen, and have the audacity to call themselves grown despite these things, then we tend to understand the effects of what is now becoming a cycle. Then you have a lot of guys that want to blame them not trying to succeed on the whole “Ms. Independent” movement! These woman are out here getting their education, getting good jobs, making more money than men on more occasions now and they don’t have the financial need that women had from men say…..30 years ago. It’s not their fault! There are a lot of men strangely feeling unwanted because they don’t understand where they can fit into a woman’s life if she already has what she needs financially. Maybe these same guys need to understand where else they fit in that woman’s life. She will make room if she wants you there.<br /><br />This in turn has caused a lot of women to support men just like their mother’s did with those men accept the woman taking care of you isn’t there mother this time is your girlfriend and they f**king them too! They living under that woman’s roof, driving that woman’s car, and eating that woman’s food and at the end of the day most of those woman are calling the shots because frankly the men they are with aren’t equipped to!<br /><br />It’s a lot of angry grown men out in the world because they didn’t have their father in their lives and as a result a lot of men don’t understand what a man’s responsibilities are not only towards a woman, but in general just about being a man! When that father is absent or seldom there the examples of what we as men should be can be few and far in between. Times are different now. I grew up on the “Cosby Show” The Jefferson’s” and you can even count “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.” All three of these shows showed married couples in good and bad situations! It made me say…..Wow! I can to be married and have kids too and even though what I’m seeing is a TV show, I felt it was possible and I still do while others may look at as a fairy tale.<br /><br />If you turn on your television today, what do you see? Reality show this, reality show that, Flavor of Love this, For the Love of Ray J. that, the Bachelor this, and The Bachelorette that! TV nowadays make it appear as if being single, partying and drinking your life away is the s**t, while they make commitment, marriage and having children while being married appear like it’s a f***ing curse or some sort of impossibility. <br /><br />As men and women we have more opportunities and resources to not only to be successful as people, but also to have successful relationships and marriages, but we don’t use them enough! Maybe we feel like we have acquired so much stuff or accomplished so many things that we can just get divorced any time we feel like it! We have women thinking because they were able to get their education, get a career, and acquire some things that they are more than capable to raise a child without a man! I’m not saying raising a child as a single parent is impossible because it’s been done, but if you ask a single parent how they raise that child or in some cases children they will tell you it sure the hell isn’t easy!! At the same time you find men walking away from marriage because maybe, just maybe they married that woman based on the wrong things or even worst they leave a good woman because they think they can do better.<br /><br />I don’t think we as adults don’t realize how much of an effect our upbringing has on us right away. It’s a lot of strong and independent women in the world now because that’s the kind of woman they were raised by. In some cases this too has caused a shift and made it very difficult for women to listen to men. So with this happening a lot the good men in the world are constantly shaking their heads because their doing the right things, but these women are not only unwilling to listen and unresponsive, but also at times emotionally unavailable to certain situations because they didn’t have their fathers and have been taught to by their mothers how to get along just fine without a man. <br /><br />All in all I this is just my view, but it may make sense to you. Over the years some us have lost those core values such as commitment, marriage, family, God or whatever else you could name. I pray for the day we get those values back, because we need them! We need it for the good of our future. I understand that there will be men and women that are homosexual, but in all fairness I hope it’s a choice they made based on their own personal happiness and preference and not because a man or woman treated them badly in a relationship or out of frustration from the opposite sex. Have you noticed how many women are bisexual for this very reason?<br />I understand that everyone that has had or will be having children in the future will be not be married, but it’s important that the strides are made to have both parents active in their child’s life for there well being and development in order to become productive adults. <br /><br />I feel as men that we can do better, me included even though I’m not a father. We need to go out and get “ours” instead of taking advantage of what these women are accomplishing in some cases. We need to concentrate more on love and love making instead of kicking it and just f***ing! We need to focus on finding a wife and not gaining a “baby momma.” This means we have to become more responsible, have more restraint and protect ourselves not only for us, but for the women we lay with! <br />Maybe I’m preaching to the choir or maybe somewhere along the way someone reading this may say, “Damn, he has a point!” Regardless I feel like the reason it’s so hard to date, be in a relationship or to be married are for these very reasons I’ve mentioned. I say to myself “There’s got to be a better way!” Lord knows things can’t be solved over night, but I believe they can be solved. <br /><br />I say and I hear people say how hard it is when it comes to love and relationships. Who do you trust? Who’s telling the truth? Is this person or that person really different from the other? Who knows! At this point it’s become somewhat of a gamble, but a gamble that most people still wager on because they feel a chance at love is worth it. Most would say “Good luck!” I would say “Lord lead us and help us all…..” <br /><br />God Bless, <br /><br />“13 Ways” (The Movement)<br /><br /><br />This blog is copywrited under The Movement Media Inc. 2010"13 Ways" (The Movement)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12743440555077486634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5747651921667372258.post-87201606314299632022010-01-10T23:38:00.000-08:002010-01-10T23:42:09.411-08:00Are you Ready for Love?<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpEznT4YeOJm80wKUXdcVi71qmudqE6BqxFIrwWwaIiPgyJA4aB7ohs7oUzrxGuqxrHnV1qqGSkLhrGBoWhlK7FzTFTOsqObukX46Ae4vxqBh40bvZMXdy1PinLLvk55UNFt09QY_v0cGG/s1600-h/101_2522.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpEznT4YeOJm80wKUXdcVi71qmudqE6BqxFIrwWwaIiPgyJA4aB7ohs7oUzrxGuqxrHnV1qqGSkLhrGBoWhlK7FzTFTOsqObukX46Ae4vxqBh40bvZMXdy1PinLLvk55UNFt09QY_v0cGG/s320/101_2522.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5425384308827547474" /></a><br /><em><strong>Are You Ready for Love? <br /><br />Some of my readers may think of me as the resident relationship expert, but I’ll be the first to correct anyone who thinks that! I write about relationships sometimes, but I write about things I’ve observed and things I’ve experienced in my own relationships and most importantly what I’ve learned from them. <br /><br />I was joking with someone close to me this morning at breakfast and said, “Damn, I’m tired of learning things the hard way! Her reply was, “Sometime that’s what it takes!” I just nodded my head and said “Yeah, sometimes…..” About a week ago I had to learn a lesson the hard way! I learned that I wasn’t ready for a relationship after 5 months of dating a good woman. I learned that my heart just wasn’t in the relationship! It was somewhere else. As the song by Atlantic Starr goes, “If your heart isn’t in it, why can’t you tell me so?” I was beginning to shut down and become lax in the relationship and the feeling wouldn’t pass, so I broke things off because I knew in my heart I was unable to give that person what they truly deserved. I would rather be alone than hurt someone that I know has a good heart! I would rather give her the chance of finding someone better suited for her, because I begin to discover that I wasn’t the one for her.<br /><br />I’ve told myself that I just need some time to be alone, that I need to really think about what I need, what I’m able to give and most importantly, what I wanted. I’ll be the first to say that are past relationship experiences should be used as learning tools instead of a crutch or as an excuse to not try being in a relationship again. We should be better people after a relationship fails. It’s very surprising how much you learn about yourself being around another person for a good period of time! <br /><br />In my short time on this Earth I’ve managed to have been in a relationship where I saw every single phase of a relationship and then some with the exception of not getting married and having children, even though at one point that was my intention. I’ve seen how relationships are built! I’ve seen how relationships grow! I’ve sacrificed and had someone sacrifice for me! I’ve argued about everything under the sun with a woman whether or not it was considered to be important or not! At 31 I know what love is and what it’s supposed to be, how it’s supposed to feel and the work that goes into it! I’ve seen how other people’s family becomes your family too and sharing holiday’s together and most of all I know what chemistry is!!! It goes beyond just having a few things in common! It goes so much deeper than that! It’s a combination of love, respect, mutual interest, and shared experience over a long period of time that evolves with time!<br /><br />I know what love is and I know how it feels and I haven’t felt it in a while!! I thought that my heart forgot how to love. Part of my heart died when my mother died two years ago. I can’t regain a mother’s love, but I still remember what it was like to be in love with a woman that loves me and how the hell things are supposed to go! <br /><br />I hear people talk about they want a relationship or how they deserve someone good or that they have so much love to give, but relationships take work!! It takes more than love to keep a relationship going! You have to come as close as you possibly can to loving someone unconditionally!!! Its one thing to love your child unconditionally, but to love your girl, or your man in that way takes work, not to mention a whole different level of trust!! <br /><br />Believe it or not dating is easy!!! Being with someone for 6 months to a year is easy!!! I’ll tell you a secret! 6 months really isn’t any time!! Do you really honestly think you’re going to know someone after 6 months!! I know people that have been married for a number of years and they still are discovering new things about their spouse regardless if it’s good or bad!! <br /><br />Were such a “Want when we want it” generation!! I can name at least 3 couples that got married, had kids and got divorced inside of 3 years!!! Everything and anything worth having takes time, effort and hard work and relationships aren’t any different!! <br /><br />I see single people who see what other people go through in relationships and say “Damn, I’m glad I’m single!!” Relationships are not easy!! A lot of people are just afraid of the commitment, while others are just afraid of being vulnerable to another person or being held accountable to another person. We have to do things when were ready, especially when it comes to committing to someone!<br /><br />I’ll be the first to say that a man or woman should never play with someone’s heart!! I know men and woman that have grown cold because someone they loved and thought loved them did them wrong! Everybody is not able to recover from heartbreak and a lot of times those people are never the same after that! <br /><br />Good girl gone bad and that man that was a puppy becomes a full-fledged dog because their afraid of being vulnerable to anyone and most importantly they feel like they can’t trust anyone anymore! Or worst than that they become bitter! We have to take are time people! No matter if you’ve had your heart broken or never experienced heartbreak it’s important that we pace ourselves! <br /><br />So some of you may say “Jon, what are you doing to move forward?” Well for me that journey started yesterday about an hour away from home. I’ve taken a small step back in order to make a big step forward! <br /><br />Moral of the story today is not to be afraid of love, but prepare to love! And like I always say, “Love yourself, before you love someone else!!” <br /><br /><br />That’s all I got for you all today….<br /><br /><br />God Bless, <br /><br />“13 Ways” (The Movement) <br /><br /><br />This blog is copyrighted by The Movement Media Inc. 2010<br /><br /><br /><br /> <br /> </strong></em>"13 Ways" (The Movement)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12743440555077486634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5747651921667372258.post-88493008890983184432009-12-05T08:24:00.000-08:002011-05-22T15:27:17.986-07:00A Question for "The Answer"Questions for “The Answer”<br /><br />Well Sports fans, it’s official! Allen Iverson is going back to the team where he started his career, The Philadelphia 76ers! For 14 years A.I. has wowed NBA fans with his prolific scoring, cross over dribbles and quick moves to the basket with reckless abundance!! We loved it and appreciated it and all the while he kept it “so hood” showing up to games do-ragged up, white-T, sweat pants, and Timberlands, not to mention enough ice to buy a house around his neck! His career average is 27.0 points a game, good enough to be 7th all time in points per game in NBA history. He also has over 24,000 points which is number one among players 6 feet tall or shorter! <br /><br />By the time he does retire he will be a first ballet Hall of Famer, but I hope for his sake when that time comes he has a championship ring to go along with all his individual accolades! <br /><br />If he isn’t, he wouldn’t be the first! Ask Charles Barkley, Karl, Malone, and Patrick Ewing about that! The difference between Iverson and these three players is that they were willing to do whatever it took to get there and I ask the question to “The Answer” himself, is he willing to do the same?<br />Before his returning to the 76ers Iverson played with the Memphis Grizzlies, which is a young team stacked with talent! After 3 games of not starting he began to complain about playing time and later announced his very brief retirement. Before that it was the Detroit Pistons and then the Denver Nuggets! His time in Denver he had no significant impact. It wasn’t his entire fault though. Add Carmelo Anthony’s 15 game suspension from a fight during a game with the New York Knicks due to the fact he stuck Jared Jeffries in the jaw! Add injuries to Nene and Kenyon Martin too and the team didn’t flourish with him! <br /><br />After his stint in Denver he was traded to the Detroit Pistons for Chauncey Billups. He had little success in Detroit unfortunately and even though he was still a great scorer in the NBA his style of play didn’t suit the Pistons, whether he started or not! Richard “Rip” Hamilton came off the bench when Iverson started and was still more productive, yet Iverson was not willing to take a supporting role by coming off the bench, even though most would say he’s a better player than Hamilton. As a result of friction between Iverson and then Detroit Head Coach, Michael Curry the Pistons would finish 39-43 for the 2008-2009 season and were swept by the Cleveland Cavilers in the first round of the Playoffs! Iverson would not play in the Playoffs sighting back problems for his absence.<br /><br />So now he’s back with the team that drafted the 6 foot guard first overall in 1996 out of Georgetown University, in what most basketball historians would call “One of the deepest and most talent drafts in NBA history!” (Shout outs to the “84” and “03” draft) Not only did the 1996 NBA draft contain Iverson, but it also contained, Ray Allen, Marcus Camby, Antonie Walker, Jermaine O’Neal, Steve Nash and a some skinny 17 year old high school student at the time named Kobe Bryant! Iverson still showed and proved among this talented draft class by winning The NBA Rookie of the Year Award in 1997!<br /><br />He lead the 76ers to the NBA Finals in 2000-2001 season! They would lose the 7 game series 4-1. In the game the Sixers won Iverson burned the Lakers for 48 points along with a dagger in the coffen 3 pointer and step over of then Laker guard, Tyronn Lue. He hasn’t been to The Finals since that season and I feel if he doesn’t change some things he will never return back to The Finals!<br /><br />At 34 years old Allen Iverson is still one of the best players in the league, not to mention NBA History, but if he doesn’t become less selfish regarding his role on his team he may never see an NBA Championship! Damn the corn rolls and the tattoos! For the first time I think his appearance or his ability to play were not judged, but his attitude is being judged! He has to have the attitude to want to win and do what’s needed for the team, even if that means coming off the bench! He may be better than the man in front of him, but at the end of the day it really comes down to chemistry among the players in that starting line-up! At least from what I’ve seen. He should ask Spurs guard and six man Mano Ginobili was his 3 championship rings worth coming off the bench even though he is better than the man in front of him! ?<br /><br />The odds are against Iverson though given the fact that the 76ers are a dismal 5-14 this season! The time for worrying about individual accolades is over! He’s made a ton of money and is a shoe in for the NBA Hall of Fame when his career is over! This past summer the Memphis Grizzles were the only team to offer Iverson a contract. The 76ers are getting Iverson the bargain price of 1.3 million dollars this season, which is the maximum a player can get with a minimum of 10 years of experience. That’s a huge pay cut from the better than 20 million he was paid the season before in Detroit! <br /><br />I think basketball fans just want to see Allen Iverson show the growth needed to get to the promise land called the NBA Finals again and win one before he hangs his Reebok’s up! I’m a fan! I got an Iverson throwback, but I’ll be damned if you catch my ass in some Reebok’s though! I only rock Nike and Jordan! LOL! <br /><br />So I say to Allen Iverson, good luck and do what you need to do because time is running out!! People still love you and if people stopped loving you make them love you again! You still got some left in the tank, so don’t waste it! I honestly think you knows this is your last chance due to the tears you cried the day you signed back with the Sixers! Make the most it!! And if you so happen to fail, fail knowing you did all you could do and don’t allow your pride to give you regret…..<br /><br />God Bless,<br /><br />“13 Ways” (The Movement)<br /><br /><br />This blog is copyrighted under The Movement Media Inc. 2010"13 Ways" (The Movement)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12743440555077486634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5747651921667372258.post-76957213868436957382009-10-04T21:54:00.000-07:002011-05-22T15:26:26.356-07:00When Keeping it Real Can be a Cop-Out…..<em><strong>I just want to thank everyone that has and will continue to support me. One of the reasons I write what I write because we need more positive messages in the world! It’s a sad thing to see so much negativity everywhere you look! The thing that pisses me off about that at times people want to accuse people of not being real when they are trying to put out positive messages! <br /><br />Its one thing to keep it real and it’s another thing not to aspire to be better people than our circumstances and situations have presented to us! Some people just don’t want good shit in their life and confuse keeping real with simply just giving in to lack-luster things! When I say this I’m not talking about money because people can be rich or wealthy financially, but can be poor morally and spiritually! <br /><br />People sell themselves short sometime in relationships and life simply because they feel they can’t do any better or even worst because they think they don’t deserve better!! Maybe it was the way you were raised, maybe it was the neighborhood you were raised in, or maybe, just maybe somebody told you that you had limits and put limits on you! People may say this sounds cliché or sounds like a line, but you can do whatever you aspire to do!! <br /><br />This world is bigger than the hoods we grew up in, bigger than the shit we see where we live! Every day we go out and help someone else achieve their dreams and it’s called having a job! LOL! It’s necessary for us to do most times, but it costs nothing to dream, but it costs you everything if you don’t dream! <br /><br />So this is my motivational drop for all my peoples out there! And for anyone that may think that I’m on some fake shit, you might want to check my resume and understand that I didn’t come from money, I didn’t grow up in the best place, but it certainly wasn’t the worst and my mother raised me on her own. The shit I’ve seen and been around all my life I could have went with the negative, but I decided not to! Everyone that I’ve dealt with in my life has not always did right by me and wanted me to succeed, but every day I prove them wrong not by what I say, but by what I do and doing so with class and integrity! In my life I go by what I know I deserve, not by what someone thinks I deserve! The more honest I am with myself the more I understand how far I’m able to go as long as I work hard for it!! Anything worth having isn’t easy! Also for the record I’m not content with the way things are so I’m still working hard towards my goals! <br /><br />If you think about it doing negative things can come very easy, but whenever people decide to do something positive it’s a little harder and I truly believe that’s why some people give up some time on their dreams or why they don’t try to even aspire to do something good in their lives. Some people just don’t want to work that hard or even worst they don’t even try!!! <br /><br />People fail in romantic relationships sometimes or most times because they don’t ry. People fail in life to go after what they deserve because they don’t try! Some people decide to do negative things because the negative is easy and they know the positive requires some work. The messed up thing is the people doing the positive things are looked down upon at times because the people doing the negative things want to perceive what the positive people are doing as soft or fake when in reality the task to do something positive requires more effort!! In reality the positive people are the hard ones because their trying to achieve the harder tasks. The people looking down on your positive acts are haters!!<br /><br />I laugh at people like this and I feel sorry for them because I honestly thought hating went out of style like a VCR!! I mean really!! It’s hating like so 2004!! <br />So I’ll keep today’s message short and sweet and I’ll simply say this!! Don’t allow anyone to steal your joy and shatter your dreams!!! If you have someone in your circle that is constantly telling you that you can’t have this or you can’t do this or you don’t deserve a good man or a good woman because they don’t exist or anything negative at all, I suggest you keep them at arm’s length or simply rid them out of your life! That’s something I practice and I got long enough arms to keep muthafucka’s like this away from me!<br /><br />Sometimes keeping real can be a cop out for fear of failure or even worst, thinking you don’t deserve, when really you should be saying I want more, but I just don’t know how! That people is keeping real! Be honest with yourself first and go after what’s yours and if you don’t know how talk to someone that can help you, but don’t mistake keeping real for not trying hard enough or not trying at all. Everyone have a wonderful week….<br /><br />God Bless,<br />“13 Ways” (The Movement)</strong></em><br /><br /><br />This blog is copyrighted The Movement Media Inc. 2010"13 Ways" (The Movement)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12743440555077486634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5747651921667372258.post-35973252183167888632009-10-01T04:54:00.000-07:002009-10-01T04:58:14.215-07:00Love Recession:Part 2<span style="color:#000099;"><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><em><span style="color:#000000;">Love Recession: Part 2<br /><br />Well, Facebook, MySpace, and whoever else reads this, I’ve officially took the gloves off for this one! I turned the governor off and I’m putting my foot on the gas! As a matter fact issue me a speeding ticket on this one! I can’t type this shit fast enough!<br /><br />Some of you may have tuned in to hear me on Neko Cheri “Live” Blog Talk Radio” If not go to www.blogtalkradio.com/nekocherilive/2009/10/01/love-and-relationship-stimulus-package The show was a great experience and I’m thankful that I was on tonight, but it felt unfinished tonight for me. There will be a part two, but I got some things to say that me and some of the guys on the show wanted to address! At least I will right now! My goal as with anything I write or do is to leave people with a message they can take home and possibly use in everyday life.<br /><br />Tonight was supposed to be about what I call “Your Love and Relationship Stimulus Package”, but we got off base tonight! I’m not mad at that though because getting off base on the show, put me on base this very moment and reaffirmed what I’ve known for a while……A lot of people have it twisted when it comes to relationships and all that it takes to get there, IF THEY WANT TO GET THERE IN THE FIRST DAMN PLACE!!<br /><br />As men and women we get shit confused!!! I swear the minute the subject gets on sex, everything changes and the message becomes twisted and it’s a very difficult thing to come out of that! Is sex a great thing? YES!! Is it the only thing that matters, HELL NO!!! People confuse sex with love, people confuse sex with power, people confuse sex with talent, people confuse sex as caring and in some cases sex is an occupation, whether you’re getting paid for it or not!!! (Pay attention to last line if that flew over your head!)<br /><br />It’s very easy for women to think that men are all about sex! After all we are supposed to be the pursuers right!! Women get offered sex in many different forms and fashions each and every single day, but not all men are purely just interested in you for sex and I find it terrible and insult to the intelligence of the good men in the world that there are some women that think this way! The bad men or I should say the men who are purely talking to a woman in pursuit of pussy mess it up for the good guys who actually want a woman to have a relationship with and not just any woman, but a good woman!! The fucked up part is that we have good women dealing with bad men and that in itself is not only messing it up for the next man that comes along, but it fucks up a women’s thinking as well, not to mention her self-esteem if they really got into a man and they got mistreated or cheated on!<br />Then as a result sometimes we get the sexually free, revolutionary, Ms. I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T ,miss I’m a Diva, type women that get things twisted off top!! Now let me clarify something, because not all independent women think this way, but for those of you that do…..well, think again!!<br /><br />I’ll say this also, and it came up in the show……MEN LOOK AT WOMEN DIFFERENTLY WHEN THEY ARE KNOWN TO HAVE MULITPLE SEXUAL PARTNERS!!!! It’s unfortunate, because when men are known for having a lot of sexual partners they are rewarded, while women are looked down on! I don’t give a damn how comfortable your with your sexuality ladies, because if you put out that “I’m just getting what I need and having my moment message all the time”, then you’re setting yourself up for that hoe label! It’s totally unfair, but this behavior is expected of men, when actually it’s equally bad! When I’m taking about a woman with multiple partners I’m not talking about a woman who may have been with more than um….let’s just say 15 men in her lifetime! For instance……If your 30 and you been having sex since you where say 16, then personally I wouldn’t call that promiscuous, especially if they’re sex life isn’t publicly known! There may not be many virgins, but we don’t want a woman that everyone is had and no woman should want a man that’s been with everybody either!! Everybody has pasts, but no one wants a hoe! We all have pasts, but I’m just saying…..<br /><br />For instance…..If you see a woman with a man that you know and you actually seen that woman commit a sexual act like giving head to a number of guys….at the same time…..and there not a porn star…..then chances are……that woman is out there….BAD!! You can’t turn a hoe into a housewife fool! (Cue P.Diddy with ad libs-“Take that, take that!”)<br /><br />A man, well at least a good man, wants a lady!! A lady doesn’t have her business all out in the street! A lady doesn’t sleep with everything that walks her way or better yet with everyman that gives her attention! Also, for you men that think you’re players telling all your sexual conquests, that don’t make you more of a man than the next man either!! Gentlemen never tell!!, but punks do! I understand the difference between a woman choosing her mate opposed to settling for what she attracts too!! Also ladies you can take that either way, because in some cases you may not attract the good guy that has it all together, because you may attract a buster or a thug that may break you off, but leaves pregnant and won’t help you raise that child!! Did you hear that? I just pissed somebody off!!<br /><br />Let me get off the women for a while because men are the professionals at just taking what they attract! Why do you ask? Because a man will just think about what they can get from that woman!! First of all sex of course, then money, driving their car, and if a woman has her own place and that man doesn’t…..AWWW SHIT!! These women who allow a man to use them this way, especially if that man doesn’t have anything going for himself and he treats you badly in the first place generally have low-self esteem anyway!! That low-self esteem could be due to a poor self-image, weight issues, women who bloomed late and don’t know how to handle the attention, to woman that are simply clueless to understanding when a man really loves them, opposed to when he is using you! And while this is going on a man can tell if you have low-self esteem! The bigger question to the guys is can you handle a confident independent lady??<br /><br />We as men and women need to be more careful in who we deal with! We all know that there are STD’s, HIV, AIDS and something that we can lose before we lose are lives to sex……our self –respect!<br /><br />Like I said, people get sex confused with everything else! Everybody knows what sex is, but most people have no idea what it takes to make love! Why do you ask? Because most of us are in a rush to have sex! When people make love is lasts a lot longer and it’s a well deserved gift! Love making isn’t something that everyone receives either! It’s an emotional attachment to that person based on love, not to mention a whole lot better than just sex! If your having good sex with someone then, that is all it is!!! Is there anything wrong with that? No! If your sleeping with everybody to find it, then that’s a problem!<br /><br />We are a perverted generation! There are all kinds of drugs to fix your sexual problems, but there isn’t one drug that will cure someone of pancreatic cancer! Hell there’s no permanent cure for eczema, but they got a bunch of cures for erectile dysfunction!<br /><br />Sex is a beautiful thing, but we misuse it and mistreat it!! It’s a sin most of us commit, have committed and will continue to commit! I’m just going to leave that statement at that! You or I are without sin so until all of are, some us need to quit the pulpiting! That statement is for some of these so called “I ain’t never did nothing wrong Christians!” Truth be known I know a few and they really are not that Godly as the image they portray! They like getting broke off too and they aren’t married, but will happily show up for church on Sunday!…..Did you hear that? Yep me too! Just pissed somebody else off!!! I’m just saying keep it 100 and quit acting like you so saved that you don’t sin because we all do!<br /><br />I hate the fact that people don’t focus on finding love as much as finding sexual conquests and even worst when people confuse the two! I’m disappointed in the fact that some people don’t believe in marriage, but will have a child with someone that they wouldn’t think of marrying, if they even believed in marriage in the first place! It’s a hell of a thing when men and woman get hurt not only because the people we seek sometime hurt us and they don’t know themselves, but even worst when we don’t know who the hell we are either and we haven’t taken time to find out ourselves instead of allow someone to define you!<br /><br />I see men and women sell themselves short everyday and then have the audacity to call it reality or think their keeping real, but in essence their slowly giving up on what they really want and need! What these people need to do is admit what there really feeling and tell the truth! Some people sell themselves short because of their appearance, financial situation, poor self-esteem or simply because they begin to lose hope and patience because it’s much harder to find a good man or woman opposed to the bad, so they settle! Anything worth having is worth waiting for!!<br /><br />When the hell are we going to wake up!!??? And people wonder why some marriages don’t last and why people have difficulty maintaining a healthy romantic relationship in the first place! The answer is simple! It’s not built on the right things!!! There foundation is weak!!<br />Love isn’t enough!! Sex sure the hell isn’t enough, and today even having a child by someone is really not enough!!! Let’s build relationships on mutual interests, mutual respect, mutual goals, and take are time! Take the time to build trust!! Go deeper than appearance with your mate and make your mate your best friend! I have a beautiful girlfriend, but I’m with her because she’s a lot more than pretty!!! A lot more!! Love will follow and lovemaking will follow…..Then marriage and possibly then a child! And I’m not knocking people who have children out of wedlock, but a child is to be loved and raised no matter what the relationship situation with love! A child is not a mutual agreement or a mutual interest and most importantly not a mutual reason to ignore and fight each other!!<br /><br />Until we learn to build relationships on love, positive things, and most importantly, God, we will continue be in a state of a “Love Recession”<br /><br />Well, at least that’s my take…..What’s yours?<br /><br />God Bless,<br />“13 Ways” (The Movement)<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />This copyrighted by The Movement Expressed Writings Inc. 2009</span><br /></em></span></span>"13 Ways" (The Movement)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12743440555077486634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5747651921667372258.post-52484463211632982622009-05-19T08:05:00.000-07:002009-05-19T08:12:18.276-07:00Love Recession-from 2008Thanks to a failed attempt to fall asleep I have decided to spoil my readers this morning. My mind has been working overtime along with my emotions, so I do what I always do when those two events happen, I write.<br /><br />Before I went to bed I put in my favorite movie, "Love Jones" .While I was watching it I begin to think about how Darius and Nina's situation related to things today and I thought to myself, damn they fell in love and all they were doing at first was JUST KICKING IT!<br /><br />The writer and director, Theodore Witcher probably never thought people would still love this movie or be able to quote it line for line when he made it 11 years ago, or maybe he did. I think he wrote probably some of the deepest lines that I had ever heard, period.<br /><br />One of my favorite lines is when Savon says to Darius at Sheila's party "Yall running around here, jumping, hoping, skipping, diving, falling in love and shit. Falling in love ain't shit! Will somebody please tell me how to stay there?" When you think about those lines, my God how true they are.<br /><br />The movie "Love Jones" is a simple interpretation and endearing way of showing how love is expressed, even though Darius and Nina never expected to fall in love.<br /><br />I know you all are wondering why is Jon talking about "Love Jones"? Well, you watch how I bring yall out on this one. A friend of mine wrote me a message because a relationship didn't work out for her. I figured most of us have all been through this before and if you haven't keep on living. Like Darius and Nina, they were JUST KICKING IT, except she fell in love and he didn't. I thought to myself, damn! That has to be a really bad feeling. NO ONE WANTS TO BE REJECTED!<br /><br />My heart went out to her. I thought to myself about her situation and my previous situation and came up with the conclusion that some people just aren't ready for love.....<br />We think sometime that if we just love that person so deeply, so hard, and in such an endearing way that they will just return the love we give back to them tenfold, when in reality that is not necessarily true.<br /><br />I can only say from experience that you could have your stuff together, be attractive, and know how to love, but if that person isn't ready to accept it, then there is nothing you can do about it. This is the type of shit that leaves people heartbroken for years. It's not your fault; they just aren't ready for your love.<br /><br />You put in time, money, love and anything else you can think of to make a relationship work, but you don't succeed in the relationship.<br /><br />I think the thing that pisses me off the most is when people do all of these things and they are not in a relationship. They are JUST KICKING IT! I know somebody that was involved with a woman for 3 years. They spent time together; of course they were having sex, and everything else that most people do in a relationship. I'm sorry yall, but if you are doing all of that, you in are in damn relationship. You just don't KICK IT with somebody for 3 years no matter what you say. This guy maintained that he was JUST KICKING IT! The woman he was involved with pretty much thought otherwise in her heart, but she allowed him to just KICK IT for 3 years. ....<br />Eventually she got tired of JUST KICKING IT and moved on. Maybe the fact that he was having a son by another woman had something to do with that? Like I said, they were JUST KICKING IT! Then after that he tells me, man I miss her. It's over between us. I was like; I thought you all were JUST KICKING IT! He was like we were together for 3 years though. Even he finally realized that they were doing more than JUST KICKING IT! In the end he was hurt. ....<br />You know we should be careful who we give our hearts to. I understand that the single life sucks. Read my previous blog for further reference. I'm sure we all have JUST KICKED IT before. I know I have. That doesn't mean given your heart to a person right away either!....<br />All it means when a person or person's wants to JUST KICK IT that they are either not ready for a commitment or have no intentions of committing to anybody. That is all it really means. Some people still want to play the field. They want to have a choice. I get it. I really do, but if you're having sex with somebody on a regular basis and spending significant time together, you aren't JUST KICKING IT, you're in a relationship whether you like it or not.<br /><br />We all want to be loved. We may not understand how to receive it or may not know how to give it, but regardless we all want to be loved. That's right ladies; men want to be loved too! You all think we are all about the booty huh! We as men are always not as smart when it comes to love as you would like us to be, but any man worth his salt and some good sense knows a good woman when he sees her.<br /><br />A cute face, pretty eyes, nice back side, nice front side, somewhere between a size 5 to a size 10, good job situation, one child or less. Not to mention sweet, caring, understanding, loving, and last but not least ride or die. I'm just saying! That's what I require, but I'm sure most guys would agree with me on this one. What I'm trying to say is a good man knows a real woman when he sees her.<br /><br />I can't speak for you extra thug, no communicating, you know what I'm saying, barley working or not working at all, selling weed for 7 years and ain't moved up to cocaine yet kinda brothers who don't take care of their kids and probably don't even own a car or have their own place. I'm not talking about yall. I'm talking about that guy that picked up a trade, went to college, makes a little money, got his own shit, takes care of his kids kinda of brother. I'm talking about the kind of brother who was taught how to treat a woman properly and most of all with respect. One day you young girls are going to learn. I'm trying to put you all up on game here, but everybody pay attention!<br /><br />Moral of the story is today is to never sell yourself short. If you are in a worthy situation of it becoming a relationship, please don't be scared. Men, claim that woman! Ladies tell that man you are trying to be his one and only, if that's the way you feel. I'm telling yall just kicking it is not what's hot. Yeah I said it! It's not hot! Also this means not giving your heart to early also.<br /><br />How many times are you ladies gonna let him throw it down and have him not claim you or you not claim him. Guys how many raggedy ass females do you have to go through to realize that the woman you are calling number one is probably the only one.<br /><br />I'm here to tell everybody to get it together. This single thing is like the economy, we are in a recession. Voting for Barack Obama will get us out of our economic recession, but it's up to us to get us out of this love recession. Think about it!<br /><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;">This blog is copyrighted by the The Movement Expressed Writings Inc. 2008</span>"13 Ways" (The Movement)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12743440555077486634noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5747651921667372258.post-70230385381820135382009-05-19T07:58:00.000-07:002009-05-19T08:04:13.130-07:00Gentlemen's Affair-We do exist!<span style="font-family:times new roman;">Apparently the gentlemen are an endangered species nowadays. They said we were the last of a dying breed, they thought men like us didn’t exist, but somehow we were overlooked, somehow we were forgotten, somehow they thought the last of us changed are tune years ago and conformed to bad boys, somehow they thought we abandoned everything our parents taught us about how to treat a woman, and they were wrong! They were so wrong!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Today somebody told me that nice guys finish last. I consider myself a nice guy so that naturally pissed me off, but I do feel that way from time to time. In most recent weeks I have seen some good guys get shit on for being exactly what they are…..good guys or as I would like to call them….gentlemen. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">So what is a gentlemen? I found the definition under chivalry so let me break it down for you!<br /> Chivalry actually started in medieval times as an institution of knighthood. It’s associated as knightly virtues and courtly love. In today’s society it is defined as courteous behavior, especially that of men towards women. In other words being a gentleman. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">The definition says it courteous behavior towards women not men. Yeah I understand that, but the reason I’m so upset this morning because nowadays some men are treating women any kind of way! The really tragic thing is some women are allowing these men to treat them in an improper manor.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">I’m talking about grown ass men just saying anything, doing anything and have the audacity to not even be a gentleman. Some guys out there might think I’m hating, but I’m not. I will say this; you bastards are saturating the precious search of love and the pursuit of it drastically!<br />You got guys not opening doors, not picking up dinner bills, not paying for movies, and not even driving on the dates. I may sound old school, but I’m a conventional man in a lot of ways. It’s not just about paying for everything because on some first dates the dating couple splits the bill. It’s about the lame ass lines some guys drop to get holla at a woman they admire. Telling a woman she has a big ass or saying something even crasser is not the way to court a woman.<br />Let’s be real for a sec. There has never been a man flirt with a woman and say some off the wall stuff. (GULITY AS CHARGED, BLAME IT ON THE LONG ISLAND. LOL!) I understand us guys will say some crazy things in the club, but on the street it’s unacceptable and the fact that some woman are allowing this behavior just shocking.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">You got guys allow themselves to just say anything or dropping these lame ass rapper quoted lines you heard in the latest single on the radio. Guys need to start being themselves!!!! Your respected selves anyway! I mean the real you, not your representative on the date. <br />It goes deeper than that though because I have come to find that some women like this! They want to not be treated in a proper way. They want to be dogged! They want the drama! They want to be played! They want to be lied too! How stupid is this shit!! That doesn’t even sound attractive!! </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">I have to come to find out in my years that some women don’t want to be treated right! Maybe they feel there not worth it or maybe they just want something to complain about. Maybe they have low self-esteem!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">I myself was once accused of being too nice! I just laughed because when I did check that certain someone in certain situations then I’m the crazy muthaf***a!! LOL! It’s all a mystery to me.<br />I’m not going to pose the question what do woman want, because I’m not trying to conform to something that I’m not to get a woman. I know exactly how to treat a woman and in some cases maybe a few women weren’t ready for that. That shit isn’t my fault. I was who I was before I met you! To my guys that are going through break-ups right now, maybe it wasn’t your fault. Some women aren’t ready for a real man and they constantly sell themselves short. At least in one cases I talked about I know this to be true!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">They say they want the truth, but they can’t handle the truth. They say they want to be loved, but they have no idea how to love back. They say they want a good man and come to find out they have no idea how to handle a good man or make the terrible mistake of taking a man’s kindness for weakness. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">I think some women go for these guys that are the so called bad boys because they want to feel safe, they want to feel protected and yes they want to feel needed! Don’t get me wrong because that’s totally understandable, but if your dating a real man, a gentleman that shouldn’t be a problem. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">See, a bad boy picks a fight; a gentleman chooses to accept that fight and is more than capable of finishing it in his favor. A gentleman uses his brain all the time and his brawn on command. A bad boy can’t control his brawn and doesn’t know how to use his brain. A gentlemen knows he can’t handle everything on his own either and has room for a women to fit in.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Ladies guys aren’t soft if they show you some attention, open a door for you, buy you flowers and cuddle with you after we tear that ass up! LOL! We just actually give a damn about you to do so. Maybe, just maybe we feel your worth it! </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">I always heard that women go through a bad boy stage. Well I got a message for those women my age that are still in that stage…..</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">You might want to pay attention. That guy that is making the right moves and that has his shit together might be the guy for you. It goes deeper than anything monetary though because if that man doesn’t have good character and some personality to go along with the things he has and the goals he has accomplished then it really doesn’t mean much.<br />So I’ll leave you with this bit of word play….</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">The gentlemen is not an endangered species. He is not mirage. He is very real. He is not a dying breed, but rare among the beasts in this jungle of life and the battle of love. We move quiet, we don’t start riots, but we know how to finish them. We move decisive and we know what we want and even more so who exactly we are. Among the shadows we emerge above the bullshit and show real women that chivalry isn’t dead, but alive and well. We are the lovers who know how to make love, your mother’s favorite, the one your dad trusts with his daughter, the one your child likes, possibly man you want to father your child and your future.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">We are gentlemen and we are the real thing, the question is…..Ladies are you ready for us? We are here to finish first!<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;">God Bless,<br /><br />“13 Ways” (The Movement)<br /><br /><br />P.S I’ll dedicate a blog to my real women the next rip!<br /><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;">This blog is copyrighted by The Movement Expressed Writings Inc. 2009</span></span>"13 Ways" (The Movement)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12743440555077486634noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5747651921667372258.post-92127348779943515312009-05-16T22:48:00.001-07:002009-05-16T22:56:25.529-07:00We Need to Get Past Ourselves.....<span style="color:#ff0000;">Spare me!!! Spare me the bullshit please!! I scream it to the rooftops! Spare me the lying, the cheating, the lack or morals, the bullshit I or anybody reading this has encountered!!!<br /></span>We live in a society today that has a severe problem when it comes to staying together. Just this week alone two of my closest friends are going through break-ups. One is ending a two-year relationship and one is getting divorced. My friend that is getting divorced told me straight up<span style="color:#ff0000;">…..”JON, DON’T GET MARRIED!!” </span>I was like damn, for real! I couldn’t believe it. I know at least two women that by the end of the year that will be divorced or legally separated. In 2006 I was hanging out with a lot of couples real heavy due to the fact that I was in a relationship myself. Two of those couples are still together and their married, but those of us that were in relationships aren’t anymore and you can add a divorce to those statistics as well along with my own relationship in that group of people.<br /><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;">WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH US!!!</span> Oh my God I wish I knew the be all, end all answer to maintaining a relationship, but I don’t. In no way am I the expert. I’m simply learning my way as you are, but I choose to write about these trials and tribulations instead of holding them in.<br /><br />I don’t have the answers, but I have questions and I have my view of how things could be handled, but that’s it. So what exactly do I think, well…..<br /><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;">We as men and women towards men and women need to learn to get past ourselves in order for our relationships and marriages to work. We have become an independent, but selfish generation. </span>Everything is all about us! Everybody is doing them! Oh, I get so sick of that saying, Do you! When your single is when you do you, but the fucking problem is people need to understand when your involved with another person that do you shit ends!! I just lost a reader just that quick. If I did your probably selfish and self-centered!<br /><br />Real talk everybody, we need to learn to work together as a unit when we are in committed, serious relationships. We need to hold ourselves accountable for shit and stop always pointing the finger and check ourselves! If she did this, if he did this, if she would change this, if he would change that!! <span style="color:#ff0000;">SHUT UP!!!</span> You know exactly who he or she was before you got with them, said you loved them, or married them. Nobody changes anything about themselves unless they want to, not because we love them so much, at least most of the time.<br /><br />I’ll be the first to say that I love strong independent women, hell I was raised by one, but when I man looks for a woman were trying to see where we can fit in, can we afford you, and most importantly does she really want a relationship if that’s what that man is looking for, at least I do.<br /><br />We have to know where we fit in and just so you ladies don’t get it twisted, we have to fit in on a level that is more than physical. Period!!<br /><br />When I’m writing I’m hard on guys! Oh, I tear us apart because there are so many bad seeds that fuck it up for the good guys (like myself). From these so called men that aren’t taking care of their kids , to men who are just on the hunt and conquest, to men that are just out to hurt other peoples relationships.<br /><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;">As men we need to step our game up.</span> We need to take these good woman seriously and stop playing games. A good woman may be hard to find just as a good man is hard to find for women, but with all the bad out in the world a good man or woman shouldn’t be that hard to spot, though sometime it is due to all the bullshit we encounter everyday.<br /><br />I bet there’s not a man or woman reading this that wish we had our histories, and or credit reports stamped on are backs. LOL! The crazy thing is that wouldn’t make things any easier. Relationships are always hard, but the benefits are wonderful.<br /><br />We have to learn to communicate, understand, listen, and most importantly push aside our pride in order for any relationship to work. There nothing cool about fronting on man or woman we say that we love. Please, lets me honest with each other, support each other and even though it’s hard, try to understand where the other person is coming from. The most important thing is we have to try! People don’t try anymore! <span style="color:#ff0000;">We think they try, but they haven’t.</span> We think if we move on to other people that things will be easier, but that concept is wrong. We think that if we leave that were saving ourselves. Don’t get me wrong because if you’re in a bad situation then that’s true, but if you’re not, then it’s simply a cop out. We need to try to harder!!<br /><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;">We will never understand each other or learn to be a unbreakable, strong, and happy bond until we learn to get past ourselves. That doesn’t mean lose yourself, but get past yourself. Use what you have to bring to the table to make the bond stronger, period! </span> That’s my take, what’s yours?<br /><br />God Bless,<br />“13 Ways” (The Movement)<br /><br /><span style="color:#ff0000;">This blog is copyrighted by The Movement Expressed Writings Inc. 2009<br /></span>"13 Ways" (The Movement)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12743440555077486634noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5747651921667372258.post-72114758607636575802009-05-13T06:14:00.000-07:002009-05-13T06:24:11.135-07:00The Definition of "13 Ways" (The Movement)<span style="font-family:times new roman;"><em><strong>March 21, 2007. That is the day I joined MySpace. Nothing about that is life changing at all. After all a social networking website isn’t all that important when you measure the things that matter the most in life. It was what happened a month later that changed things and brought things out in me that were always there, but were buried inside of me.....<br />One of the most common questions I get is “What does “13 Ways” (The Movement) mean. Well it my screen name is more than a screen name because to me it’s a way of life. My first blog gave everyone a brief description of what “13 Ways” is. That blog was almost two years ago and about 500 friends ago as well. I know a lot of people thought I was on some sexual stuff, but that’s not the case at all. My first blog went something like this.....<br /></strong></em></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><em><strong>1. I'm Living for God.<br />2. I'm Living to respect people.<br />3. I'm Living to love.<br />4. I'm Living to have fun!<br />5. I'm Living to be prosperous.<br />6. I'm Living by my word.<br />7. I'm Living by my actions.<br />8. I'm Living in the moment.<br />9. I'm Living for success.<br />10. I'm Living for change.<br />11. I'm Living for knowledge.<br />12. I'm Living for those who doubt me or doubted me.<br />13. I'm living to show people a man can do and be all things positive in a world that can build us up and tear us down. I'm willing to do what others won't do and despite the color of my skin or were I'm from I will achieve my goals.</strong></em></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><em><strong>Those meanings are the same, but now they mean so much more. Even though I love to write and it is truly my passion my writing and the lessons and experiences I have encountered in the past two years were full of sorrow. That sorrow brought out deep emotions inside of me and thus altered the way I thought and did things from those days forward. </strong></em></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><em><strong>Dealing with death is one thing; dealing with losing the woman that raised you is another. Being in love is one thing, not being loved in return the way you deserve is another. Through those two events happening to me ultimately changed me forever. When I say changed I don’t mean it has made me bitter because that’s not the case, but what it did do is give me a new outlook on life and it informed me of my worth as a man. </strong></em></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><em><strong>Sorrow, anger, and disappointment are all a part of life. I had to endure all three at once and then some. Instead of me closing myself off to the world, I opened the door and decided to give you a look into my world. Instead of drinking those lonely nights away wondering how I was going to make it, I prayed that God would keep me so I could make it. Instead of wasting my time with negative people, I surrounded myself with positive ones. </strong></em></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><em><strong>I decided that I wasn’t going to put hope into people anymore. When you hope that somebody will do this or hope that somebody will do that it’s like you’re asking that person to do something that they aren’t willing to do. It’s not because they aren’t capable they, but they just are not willing to do it. Like I hope this person will love me or I hope such and such calls or I hope stupid ass gets his shit together. As a result I don’t put hope in people because I have been disappointed too much. Instead I trust in God even more. </strong></em></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><em><strong>Hope to me is an attitude. Hope is the reason people still believe in marriage even though the divorce rate is over 50 percent. Hope is going to school in hope that your degree will pay off and you will earn a high paying job. Hope is the reason some attend church sometime because they hope God will show his mercy upon you in whatever situation you’re going through. Hope is the positive attitude of not giving up on what you want, but most importantly….what you deserve. I put hope in situations not in people. I know that may sound cynical, but that’s how I feel. ....<br />People also ask me, “What does The Movement represent?” Well The Movement represents effort. When I first began to blog I wrote blogs as a diary. After my mother passed I began to write with purpose. Then after that my writings became something bigger than me, they became a movement. </strong></em></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><em><strong> The Movement is about wanting to do better and being better in life. It is about loving you enough to not sell yourself short, even though from time to time we all do it. It is about loving harder, trying harder, and understanding the things that are really important at the end of the day. Family, real friends, and if your involved with the right person, your marriage or relationship. </strong></em></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><em><strong>We can get so caught up in life’s chase that sometimes we forget what really matters. We are too busy to stop our chase of money, career, and status that we forget what really matters sometime. Some people still haven’t figured it out, but trust me, they will. </strong></em></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><em><strong>The Movement ultimately about knowing you deserve all that life has to offer and trying your very best not to sell yourself short. Push the envelope in a positive way!</strong></em></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><em><strong>So you probably ask, “Has the meaning of “13 Ways” (The Movement) changed? The answer is no! It has evolved! Some have said that I'm an inspiration but at the end of the day I'm just like everybody else searching for the keys to unlock the doors of life. I introduce you to “13 Ways” (The Movement) as you should know it. God Bless!<br /><br />1. Live for God. We are not perfect, but if we know that God is the head of our life and he controls everything we can do awesome things. He is everything!</strong></em></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><em><strong>2. Live to respect people. Treat people the way you want to be treated. Love people the way you want to be loved and give of yourself the way you would want someone to do for you. </strong></em></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><em><strong>3. Live to Love. Love family, friends, and significant others as unconditionally as you possibly can. Love is this world strongest emotion. Don’t be afraid to love people, most importantly, love yourself! </strong></em></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><em><strong>4. Live to have fun. Life isn’t a party, but isn’t a funeral either. Enjoy life and try to live everyday like it’s your last. Live freely and be fearless, but have restraint. Life is short, no matter how you cut it. </strong></em></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><em><strong>5. Live to be prosperous. Money is simply a wonderful tool. It has the ability to fix a lot of things. Be aware of the pros of it, the cons of it, and how to get it without hurting anyone. </strong></em></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><em><strong>6. Live by your word. All a person has at the end of the day is their word. Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Don’t just say things because they sound good. If you want to be taken seriously, keep your word!</strong></em></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><em><strong>7. Live by your actions. Talk is cheap! Be proactive. If you’re going to do something, do it (within reason). It’s about putting your words in effect and walking the walk!</strong></em></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><em><strong>8. Live in the moment. We can miss key moments in our lives that are important if we don’t pay attention. We don’t have a lot of time on this Earth, so learn to appreciate the moments that could become wonderful memories. </strong></em></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><em><strong>9. Live for success. Success is not always measured in dollars, but in how you have overcome, survived and how you have taken your experiences and learned from them. We all have the ability to make are mark in this world, it’s up to us to make a positive one. </strong></em></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><em><strong>10. Live for change. Change happens whether you want it to or not. Change signals evolution. Every year of your life you should evolve. Don’t be afraid to step out of the box sometime, but understand exactly how far to step out of it and when.</strong></em></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><em><strong>11. Live for knowledge. Knowledge goes beyond the classrooms of the world. They help, but life experiences+learned experiences=knowledge. </strong></em></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><em><strong>12. Live for those who doubted you. We all have been underestimated. Make it your duty to prove them wrong in what you do and how you handle yourself, not by what you say and most of all being humble about it.</strong></em></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><em><strong>13.Live for the world that can build us up and tear us down. Know what you can do and what you can do. Shoot for the stars and know that you deserve more. Know that you don’t owe the world anything and know that the only person you owe anything or have to prove yourself to is you and God. Even when life’s sorrows, troubles, and heartbreaks break you down, know that God will pick you up even quicker.<br /> </strong></em></span><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;"></span><br /><span style="color:#990000;">This definition is copyrighted under The Movement Expressed Writings Inc. 2008</span>"13 Ways" (The Movement)http://www.blogger.com/profile/12743440555077486634noreply@blogger.com0